Happy birthday bright eyes

My middle son just turned 19. Nineteen. That's a 1 and a 9. It was hard to have my oldest turn 20 on his last birthday, my first child out of his teenage years. It was also hard having my youngest turn 16 on his recent birthday, my last child to get his permit. But it's the birthdays of my middle child that connects the other two and always has.

He was my quiet boy from the day he was born. All of my kids came early and he was born while my regular doctor was on vacation. Another doctor filled in and I had only met him once so I wasn't thrilled to have him. He did everything different and I wasn't comfortable with that. It wasn't wrong it was just different. He was so serious and quiet while my doctor was jovial and loud. Just before I delivered my baby his heart rate dropped dramatically. I heard the doctor tell the nurse that he was in distress. He then told my husband and I that he was going to use forceps to help him out faster. I was so scared but it didn't take long for him to arrive. Someone announced we had a boy and then the nurse took him to the warming bed. I didn't hear a sound from him. The room had already been quieter than with my first child and now I felt like I could hear a pin drop. I wanted to hear my baby cry. I immediately asked if he was OK and then I asked again. I don't remember anyone answering me but I'm sure someone did. I wasn't panicking, yet, but I could have very easily. My husband went across the room to check on him and assured me he was fine but I wanted to hear him cry. Finally, he whimpered a bit and briefly cried. And when the nurse handed him to me he just snuggled quietly with his big bright eyes wide open. He was, and still is my quiet one. The other two cried so loud they could be heard down the hallway but not this kid. He never did.

As soon as he learned to talk it was a different story. He was a chatterbox and he asked so many questions. I love to watch the home movies where I can hear his little voice and see the intense look he would get on his face, usually dressed as Batman. And those eyes only got bigger and brighter. He also had the kindest heart and tried to keep everyone happy. When his big brother would boss him around he would let him. As he got older he explained to me once that it was just easier that way. I wanted to tell him not to allow that, to give it right back, but I didn't. He needed to find his own way and form his own relationship. I also knew that someday he would turn the tables anyway.

Now he is 6'3" (that's 3" taller than his older brother and 12" taller than me) and hasn't stopped growing. He is still quiet most of the time and very polite but he doesn't let anyone boss him around anymore. He doesn't let me snuggle with him like I used to either, he barely lets me hug him on the rare occasions that I try. He is a teenage boy after all and that's not cool. I don't push it but when he left for college the first time you can bet I hugged him, and I kissed him too. And he let me. And then I cried.

He is still the son that bridges the gap between the other two. He is the connection that binds the three of them together. He is handsome, smart, responsible and mature. He works hard and he's good with his money. He has also decided to take some time away from college. He only went for a year but he didn't like his classes or his major and doesn't know what he wants to try next. I wasn't happy about it but it was his decision to make. He didn't rush into it and his reasons were good ones. He already had a part time job and was getting even more hours so he wasn't going to be lazy and he would have his own money. And with the ever rising cost of higher education it was probably very wise to take a break. I hope he will go back eventually but that's his decision too. I just want him to be happy.

My quiet little baby is now a quiet young man. I'm so proud of all that's he's done and all that he will do. I love him more every day and I hope that he may someday have a son as wonderful as he is. Happy birthday bright eyes.