Teaser Tuesday

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly meme hosted by Miz B of Should Be Reading and asks you to :
1. Grab your current read
2. Open to a random page
3 . Share 2 "teaser" sentences also citing the title of the book and the author and in that way people can have great recommendations if they like the "teaser".
4. Please avoid spoilers!

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Letter to my children 

Dear Children,
I am your dad. The father of all five of you pale creatures. Given how attractive and fertile your mother is, there may be more of you by the time you read this book...
So why a book? Well, since you've come into my life you've been a constant source of entertainment while simultaneously driving me insane.
~pages 3 & 4
Dad Is Fat by Jim Gaffigan